


Halo Effect

by nex_et_nox



Series: ad hominem [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (also Gabriel despairs of ever getting to hang out with his new friends), Crack, Gen, God just won't let Gabriel off the hook, no message-delivery shirking under His watch!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-12-03 05:07:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/694493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nex_et_nox/pseuds/nex_et_nox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The continuing misadventures of Gabriel and his message delivery service.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halo Effect

Of course, leaving Heaven didn’t stop Gabriel’s Father from sending him off again and again with memos and notes for various persons. The archangel moaned about it at first, claiming that he’d left and was wallowing in sin and seriously, _couldn’t he just wallow in peace_?

His Father responded by cutting off his access to alcohol of any type, as well as his new favourite food items, which generally contained sugar. A letter was left in a bowl of salad placed next to his empty booze cabinet.

Gabriel didn’t complain after that.

(Except for when he and Hermes met up on weekends to get drunk and bitch about the under appreciative attitudes fathers seem to take about their postal worker sons. But whatever.)

 

“Do you know how close I was to getting a date out of Kali before your stupid letter showed up?” Gabriel grumbled. 

The wind blew around him and gently teased his vessel’s hair. The archangel was pretty sure his Father was laughing at him. 

“Not cool, Dad,” Gabriel declared.

 

Time passed, as it always did (except for when the archangel cheated by jumping forward or back a few years – he’d relived Eris’s lead-up to the Battle of Troy _at least_ five times, because that chick and her apples…well). Gabriel delivered messages to morons all over the globe on his Father’s commands (and seriously, that did not help his social life, having to duck out with a _sorry, I can’t come to that badass party you’re hosting, my Dad wants me to drop some mail off for Him in eastern Europe_ ). Humans came up with more and more sugary confections each passing year (which partially made up for him having to deliver messages all the time, but also gave his Father plenty of opportunities to take food away from him).

Booze didn’t really change all that much.

 

The note appeared next to his sundae. It was folded up tightly, with _Top Secret – Don’t Open This Until You Get There_ scrawled nearly illegibly on the front.

(Despite what one might think, God’s handwriting was incredibly messy. Gabriel was hard-pressed to find a human that wrote even _half_ as bad. Well, the Son also had awful handwriting, but He didn’t really count.)

Gabriel looked mournfully down at his ice cream but grabbed the note and flew to where his Father was prompting him to go. It was some motel in Bumfuck, Wyoming, but whatever, he’d had to fly weirder places. (Don’t ask. Seriously, _don’t ask_.)

He appeared in the motel room, vaguely noting a few wards that were set up – nothing strong enough to keep _him_ out, of course – and said briskly. “Lo, I have come unto you to deliver a message from—”

And then he noticed precisely _who_ was in the room, and more importantly the fact that one of them was pointing the _Colt_ at him.

(His Father had made him help Samuel Colt build the damn thing, so he knew it like the back of his vessel’s hand. Colt had been an amusing old man, except for that one time when he’d gotten completely smashed and then tried to shoot Gabriel with the gun he’d _just_ helped the man make. 

See, _that_ was why he’d left Heaven, because he’d _seen_ that coming!)

“Dad!” Gabriel squawked, raising his hands quickly in a gesture of surrender. 

Both the Winchesters were glaring at him. Dean cocked the gun. His Father didn’t respond.


End file.
